Drowning In Darkness
by anhedoniac
Summary: After the smoke clears from the latest war, what will become of Naruto? Will Naruto learn to live again or will he be haunted by the past forever? He's proven he can overcome the physical challenges but what if his greatest enemy yet is an opponent that is not physical but instead mentally taxing? Dark fic, lemons in later chapters. Mystery pairing. Update 12/21: Chapter 1


**Drowning in Darkness**

This story has also been on my mind for a while. This is going to be a darker story compared to a lot of things on here so please be prepared. I think it's a very sensual story at the same time. I have decided on a pairing but I'm keeping it a mystery.

This is not going to be as long as Acceptance, mainly because I don't have as much to work with but this will still have a plot to it.

**(Scene Break)**

_'Thoughts'_

"Talking between people"

* * *

The Fourth Shinobi War had ended over a year ago and the victors (the shinobi alliance) had prevailed. The combined alliance of the five great nations had done enough damage to the "infinite Zetsu army" and both Madara and Obito Uchiha that the forces were able to kill or in Madara's case, seal them away for good.

Despite the alliance prevailing, it was a gruesome war. Many casualties had resulted from the war. The previous generation gave their lives in the midst of combat to ensure the success of the future generation. However, this did not automatically mean that the next generation did not survive in its entirety. The most prominent sign of this was the loss of members of the famed "Rookie Eleven."

Many had stated that the Rookie Eleven (at the time of their title, twelve, with Sasuke Uchiha included) were the greatest class to ever come from the shinobi academy in Konoha. The class was considered even with the class that produced Might Guy, Kakashi Hatake and Asuma Sarutobi. The citizens of Konoha and even in other nations where their fame had swept thought that none of the Rookie Eleven would be killed in any type of combat. That view proved to be incredibly ignorant and wrong.

Among the deceased from the Konoha Rookie Eleven included Neji Hyuuga, clan heiress Hinata Hyuuga and the head medic Sakura Haruno. Neji died protecting Hinata Hyuuga and Naruto Uzumaki.

Hinata's death was almost parallel to her previous experience with death. It wasn't only for Naruto this time. Hinata died while leading to the Hyuuga forces against the Juubi. Hinata was killed at the hands of Madara Uchiha after he made a calculated decision to attack her and then attempt to retreat from the forces. Hinata's death allowed the joint shinobi forces to seal Madara and finish off the Juubi.

Sakura Haruno died pursuing Sasuke Uchiha when it was revealed that he was to be a living sacrifice for the Moon's Eye Plan. Originally, Konoha was stunned the fact that Sasuke would sacrifice himself for Obito's plan. Sakura abandoned her place in the squads to retrieve the one she loved, but fell at the hands of Obito Uchiha.

Konoha wasn't stunned when Sasuke killed Obito as Konoha resealed Madara. Sasuke then requested that he fight Naruto after he unsuccessfully attempted to gain the Rinnegan doijutsu.

The final battle of the Fourth Shinobi War was at the Valley of the End. Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki engaged in a battle that the forces of the victors witnessed. Neither was killed in the battle but Sasuke Uchiha had sustained major damage. It was deemed that Sasuke would never have the career of a shinobi again but he would be able to live. Sasuke was brought back where his remaining chakra was drained. Sasuke's Rinnegan and Sharingan eyes were lost as well. A seal was performed that locked both eyes from producing chakra outwards or to the rest of the body.

So that brings us to the circumstances today, Sasuke was pardoned by the interim Hokage at the behest of Naruto Uzumaki and nothing was thought of it besides that Sasuke had no influence left outside the village and he could never have a shinobi career again. Sasuke was watched every day by ANBU to make sure that he was never committing another criminal act but Sasuke realized his wrongdoings in the last battle. Sasuke Uchiha had to live with the fact that he had been manipulated every day since the Uchiha massacre.

* * *

**(7 AM, Konoha)**

Naruto Uzumaki had woken up around the usual time that he would every day. Naruto was being groomed to being the future Hokage of Konoha. It was his dream come true but the tasks sometimes bordered on mundane. Naruto never realized this much diplomacy revolved around the position of Hokage.

Despite that training for the position of Hokage, he still had to train and make sure his senses were sharp. Some people thought that training for a ninjutsu machine like Naruto was irrelevant because the amount of chakra that Naruto had. Nobody doubted that Naruto was one of, if not the most powerful shinobi alive.

_'Well training needs to be done today. Luckily I have no diplomacy meetings with Tsunade today'_ thought Naruto as he was praising his luck for no diplomacy meetings.

Tsunade fell into another coma after the war and spent nearly a week in it. After realizing that she had two comas in a short span of time, she decided to stop gambling with her luck and name an interim Hokage.

Tsunade's glee for that was met with the same despair of a silver haired shinobi. Kakashi was deemed interim Hokage while Naruto gained experience for the position.

Naruto was moving around his new house that he bought after the war. He had an option to use the house of his mother and father, but he decided to keep that as a relic of his parents. Aside from Kurama, that was the last tangible thing that he had of his mother and father.

_'Speaking of Kurama, where is that damn fox?'_ thought Naruto.

Naruto hadn't heard from the damn fox in what seemed like weeks. He was beginning to enjoy the company of the fox. It had some smart insight into Uchiha's and how to beat them.

That was the most dialogue between Kurama and Naruto and their thoughts and conversations hadn't intersected much since then.

_'I guess it's peaceful this way, not having to live with a voice in your head all the time. I'm not psychotic in anyway but hearing voices is just weird'_ mused Naruto.

* * *

**(Naruto's mindscape)**

Kurama was enjoying the time since the last Shinobi war had ended. It was peaceful for the first time with the container.

Peace only lasted for so long before another enemy emerged and the world was on brink of war again. This was the cycle of life and until any species created a utopia, it wasn't going to end anytime soon.

Kurama smirked and fell back to sleep. It was only a matter of time before that cycle would emerge within Konoha again. Chaos was a nice feeling and danger was even better.

* * *

**(Naruto's house)**

The Fourth Shinobi War had taken its toll on Naruto mentally and emotionally. Naruto took Sakura's death extremely hard even though it was revealed that she was attempting to get Sasuke Uchiha back when logic stated that things would happen otherwise.

Another sensation had appeared when the war ended; it was the sensation of emptiness.

Naruto thought he was a person who could tolerate emotional pain but he had never thought about emptiness. Naruto still had a very childish "black and white" view of the world and thought things would swing from happiness to sadness without too much grey involved.

So to say that Naruto was prepared for this feeling would be a lie. Naruto was prepared to deal with the sadness and depression that came with Sakura's death. It took months for him to fully recover.

There was a lingering side effect of Sakura's death that began to appear in Naruto's outlook of life. Sakura had told Naruto that she loved him and even though Naruto didn't fully believe that, he held onto faith that she did love him and was sorting through emotions regarding her infatuation of Sasuke.

Hinata's death also had taken its toll on Naruto. Naruto realized how oblivious he had been to Hinata's feelings after she died. Hanabi was now the head of the Hyuuga clan after Hiashi gave up his plan of clan-head. The war had done enough to his sanity and he had no motivation to fight in any future battles.

In one war, the person who Naruto loved and loved Naruto had been killed; both trying to protect their individual interests.

Naruto thought that the position of Hokage and protecting the people he "loved" would shield him from the emotional toll of the war. He still has flashbacks to the war; watching people die and glimmers of what he felt when he had learned that Obito killed Sakura.

The war had been long over but the scars that Naruto hides away were too lasting to ever forget. The feeling of emptiness was beginning to consume him from the inside to his outside actions. Naruto had recently begun to act a bit more reclusive than in the past. Many people were wondering how Naruto was doing, and others blew it off as the future Hokage being busy with diplomatic interests.

Naruto didn't consider himself a masochist, but he loathed the feeling of emptiness and loved the feeling of emptiness at the same time. He flipped between wishing that he still had his personal puzzle of life figured out and wanting to remain this way, not allowing the negative emotions to ever take hold of him.

Too many people died in that war, and Naruto knew that he would prevent that from ever happening again. Naruto was the rock of the village, if he had to dwell in darkness for the rest of his life with emptiness consuming him completely, then that's what had to happen for the sake of Konoha. No person was ever greater than the village they came from.

The thought train Naruto was on had ended and he snapped back to his present reality. Naruto stopped pondering his internal feelings and headed to his personal training ground.

* * *

**(Training ground 44, Forest of Death)**

This had become Naruto's home before when he needed to prepare for strenuous missions. The Forest of Death would keep every shinobi's guard in constant check because not only enemies would be the problem, but creatures that could easily kill a shinobi. Naruto preferred training with shadow clones as enemies that could land fatal strikes because it resembled the worst-case scenario of a mission.

Naruto trained enough to prevent the worst-case scenario to happen but it was nice to train just in case. Plus, training against himself would push him to his limits. It created a draw more times than not but it was a great learning experience about his own tendencies. This was also useful because Naruto wouldn't go all out against anybody in the village after what he did to Sasuke. Sasuke was an enemy but a friend at the same time, the match had created some psychological scars that still hadn't healed.

_'So I guess this is home for the next few hours'_

Naruto jumped into the forest and began to create shadow clones that would be pseudo-enemies.

* * *

**(Uchiha compound)**

Sasuke Uchiha had lead a life of deception ever since his family was murdered in front of his very eyes. The tragedy of that was he was the one who was being deceived the entire time. Now left without a shinobi career and the luxuries of the Sharingan (his eyes were sealed and now back to their regular black iris), he had to settle for a civilian life.

Although Sasuke had burned many bridges in Konoha, there were people still willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He did not understand how he could be still trusted by people, well save Naruto because he had the 'Jesus complex'.

_'Speaking of Naruto, where is the dobe?'_

_'I haven't seen Naruto in a week now, he must either be busy or something is wrong with him. I didn't see anything different the last time that he was here.'_

However, Sasuke's skills as a shinobi had been tarnished over the years after the war had ended. Even the most basic skills had become rusty due to not practicing them.

Sasuke got up and left the compound to travel to a certain blonde-haired shinobi's residence.

* * *

**(Forest of Death)**

Naruto was dodging attacks by all of his clones. He decided that he would not use any major techniques in fear of disrupting the natural harmony of the village. Of the 15 clones that were his enemies, he had eliminated all but 2 of them. The clones knew that they were one team and Naruto was another. The clones worked together and did very well. That's because their personalities were mostly the same, a few clones had some quirks to them.

Naruto noted a disturbance in a tree about 15 meters ahead of him. Naruto met the clone in a head to head battle. The hand to hand combat lasted for a while when Naruto landed a blow to the stomach that dispelled it. Naruto relaxed for a split second before setting out to find the final clone.

_'I'm surprised there was no sneak attack after that battle. The final clone must be up to something elaborate.'_ Thought Naruto as he was hopping from branch to branch.

Suddenly Naruto felt a pain in his head that caused him to stop.

_'What was that? It was hard for me to even move during that pain. It was painful but very quick. I can't even feel it anymore'_

Naruto hopped from tree to tree and over the fence. Naruto wasn't going to risk his health in training although a younger version of him would have done so. Naruto had matured greatly over the year and became a veteran both of war and of high-ranking missions.

What Naruto did not realize is that the clone he had been searching for was outside of the fence as well. Naruto was lying down and making sure that he was not having any sort of illness or unknown injury before getting up and realizing the clone was present.

_'Well it must have come outside of the fence to end the game as well. Fair enough, I wasn't going to battle it anyway in this state. I'll just dispel it and I can go back to the residence to rest a little.'_

Naruto raised himself off the ground and put together the necessary chakra to dispel the clone, however nothing happened.

"What?" Naruto said out loud as the clone just tilted its head to the side and looked at Naruto.

Naruto attempted to do the same thing but the same result happened. The clone wasn't dispelling.

The clone began to walk towards Naruto and stood face to face with him. Naruto's body tensed and he was ready to dodge a sudden attack if necessary. The clone smiled and dispelled itself in front of Naruto's face. Naruto flinched and retracted from the smoke the clone caused, he waited for it to disperse with a tensed expression.

The smoke cleared and nothing was there. No trace of the clone or that it ever existed. Naruto looked on the ground for a moment to see if a clichéd technique of leaving a note was present but it was not.

_'That was weird. Something was off about that and I have no idea what it was. It is imperative that I find out what that was about. I know some of my clones have slightly different personalities than my own but that was completely out of the ordinary.'_

Naruto stood in the same position for a few minutes before deciding to journey back to his residence. He slipped away back to his place, where he would be visited in the near future.

* * *

**(Streets of Konoha)**

Sasuke was on his way to see somebody he wanted to talk to for a while now. Sasuke knew something was awry because Naruto would visit him at least once every week and he had not visited him in two weeks.

_'I don't want to talk to anybody else right now. Well at least that's not a problem, most of this village hates me, I understand what Naruto felt as a child now.'_ Pondered Sasuke.

Sasuke truly didn't understand how Naruto felt at first. Sasuke and Naruto were polar opposites that wanted what each other had as children.

Sasuke wanted to be left to his own devices so he could gain strength. The hateful stares of the villagers would have never had a great emotional toll on Sasuke because he didn't care about them. Naruto on the other hand, wishes that he had the family and peer support that Sasuke had. Sasuke had the entire village behind him and anything that he would have wanted within a realm of possibility would have been handed to him on a silver platter.

Sasuke and Naruto, despite having a plethora of similarities were people who wanted what the other had thrown away. Sasuke Uchiha threw away the love and support of everybody to gain more power. Naruto shed the hate and contempt of the villagers to become the most popular person in Konoha for the deeds he had done.

Sasuke continued along the path of the main streets. He laughed at the irony of their relationship. Naruto and Sasuke had switched places in social construct and their child forms would be happy. Sasuke was no longer his naïve, childish self. Sasuke was a war veteran like Naruto. Sasuke still shared one thing with his academy self, he still wanted what Naruto had.

Sasuke continued to walk towards the residence of one Uzumaki Naruto and discuss some recent happenings. However, he wasn't expecting the topic to be a problem for Naruto.

* * *

**(Uzumaki residence)**

Naruto had arrived at his home and was sleeping when Sasuke arrived. Naruto had so much responsibility and now this new problem that he had forgotten to visit Sasuke.

"Sorry teme, I didn't mean to forget about you but it just sort of happened." Naruto said as he was making some tea for Sasuke.

"Forget about me? I remember the days when you wouldn't forget a single detail about me." Stated Sasuke with a neutral expression on his face.

"Oh there are certain details that I'd rather forget." Deadpanned Naruto.

"Name one…"

"Remember that time when I kissed you in the academy."

"Yeah I'd rather forget that one as well…." Stated Sasuke, trying to get the memories of that event out of his head.

"So teme, how has life been recently, well at least since we last spoke." Questioned Naruto, who had a lot of ground to cover since it had been a few weeks.

"Boring, I miss the days of being a shinobi. I'm just glad to be alive at the same time. Well that's not the whole truth but I can't change the circumstances of the war."

"Well what do you mean by that? Would you rather be dead?" questioned Naruto, who was on the verge of being insulted by that last statement. Naruto thought Sasuke would be incredibly thankful that he went out of his way to save Sasuke from dying by execution. It was Naruto alone that got Sasuke pardoned both the Hokage and the Fire Damiyo.

Well that wasn't completely true; Naruto did use a little bit of previous knowledge given to him by Jiraiya against the Damiyo. The Damiyo melted under pressure because he wanted to appease everybody. Naruto, being the hero of Konoha and the 4th war, demanded that Sasuke be pardoned because he was manipulated and to do it as a favor for him.

"Dobe is anybody home?" Sasuke waved his hand in front of Naruto's face, as Naruto was broken away from his train of thought.

"Sorry, I got distracted." Naruto stated as he rubbed the back of his head and smiled at Sasuke.

"As I was saying, I have a problem because I live with a feeling that is a paradox?"

"What is that?" Naruto stated curiously.

"I have two feelings that contradict each other but I can't seem to figure which one I want. The first is that I wish that I had died. I still don't like this world because of what it is and I would have died for my cause in war, or at least if I was executed."

"Why would you die, don't you know what it means to live? How about that feeling that you just smile at when you know you are living." stated Naruto.

"That's not all Naruto, I also want to live at the same time. I've done some really bad things in the past. I was incredibly naïve to follow the people I have and I was so driven by my emotions that I overlooked everything in this village that was important to me. In hindsight, I could have easily gotten all the power that I wanted from this village and I would have had a great life like you or I would have died in battle as a hero."

"Well you could have done things differently from the start Sasuke. I was always willing to be your friend, I just wanted everything you had." Stated Naruto, a little depressed from what Sasuke was stating.

"I realize that Naruto. However, if I can live and make something better for the world, then I've done enough to make myself happy and hopefully I could balance out for all the wrongs I've done. My chakra is gone and I've lost my eye, which means there is pretty much nothing that I can do. It's really depressing." Sasuke took a breath and smiled at one of his thoughts.

"I see what you are explaining. It's a bit hard for me to picture because I'm different than you but I can somewhat rationalize it."

"That's all that I ask for dobe, this whole village has turned against me, and rightfully so. I just wanted somebody to understand me." Sasuke smiled as he said it. He had gotten his wish in a way but he wished that life had so much more for him to enjoy.

* * *

**(Streets of Konoha)**

After a few hours, Sasuke departed again for the Uchiha residence. The ANBU that were following him did their job as per normal. Sasuke didn't mind them anymore than he usually did. He had no chakra and no sharingan or rinnegan, so he was basically a regular civilian now. He was a civilian that held a great friendship with the hero of the village, but still a civilian nonetheless.

Sasuke remembered that thought that made him smile when he was explaining his problem to Naruto.

Itachi's goal in life was to make himself the villain to make Sasuke the hero. The irony of Itachi's plans was that it accomplished the opposite effect. Sasuke had become the villain of Konoha for trying to accomplish his brother's will but Itachi had become a hero for carrying out his duty for the village and then later with Akatsuki.

Sasuke couldn't remember a time when a plan made by Itachi Uchiha went exactly the opposite of how it was supposed to happen. In this one, rare case it did exactly that. Sasuke was the person that most people in Konoha hated, and Itachi was loved by generations of shinobi. Itachi was the standard of how a shinobi was supposed to act in adverse conditions for the good of the village.

Sasuke continued his slow journey back to the Uchiha manor. He was walking slowly on purpose so he could enjoy the sites and sounds of the village he had previously hated.

_'If a person looked at Naruto and myself, they would see absolutely nothing in common. However that's the untrained eye and they don't know the friendship that we possess. That's why I'm content, because I realize Naruto understands me.'_

Sasuke knew that Naruto understood his paradox, and the duality of his thoughts but Sasuke didn't know that Naruto was struggling with his own emotions that were threatening to destroy him from the inside out.

* * *

**(Naruto Uzumaki residence, later that night)**

Naruto was reflecting on his events of the day. He had still not forgotten about the clone incident but he had forgotten about it after Sasuke had arrived at his house. He did a few more errands after that and the day was completely gone.

The clone incident seemed so trivial besides the feeling of absolute emptiness in him and Sasuke's declaration of not knowing whether he wanted to die or live.

Naruto's own emptiness came back up in his thoughts. He had no definite way of making that feeling go away like the feelings of anger, rage or hostility in the past. It was one of the "negative" emotions that would not go away at all.

He did know that Sasuke being over did cheer him up and make him feel like everything was all right again. If he could go back in time, Naruto would have trained in a serious manner since entering the academy so he could have been stronger when he first faced all the Akatsuki members. He drowned in despair as he thought about how he could have ended the 4th Shinobi War before it had even started.

If only he saved Jiraiya, if only he had saved Nagato and Konan from darkness, if only he could convince Sasuke to never leave the village, if only he had been quicker to Suna to rescue Gaara, if only he convinced Itachi to not go through with his plans, if only he killed Tobi the first time he encountered him.

_'Woah where did that come from?'_

Naruto realized that out of the entire if only statements, the only one that involved killing or a negative reaction was about Tobi or Obito Uchiha.

_'You know that it's true though. If you had killed Obito then he would have never been able to utilize the Juubi. You might have still encountered Kabuto but he would have been damned by his own technique and Madara Uchiha would have turned on him.'_

Naruto knew that was true at the same time. Kabuto, for somebody who prided himself on being able to become any image or see everything was doomed from the start.

Naruto remembered all those who were lost in that war and a few tears slipped from out of his eyes.

Naruto knew that he was not a hedonist at all. Compared to Sasuke, he paled in comparison to how much suffering he would go through for others' happiness. Naruto had lost the people that he cared the most about but he accomplished the view of the world that he wanted.

Jiraiya and Nagato would be extremely proud of Naruto and what the villages had become. They would smile at everything he accomplished. The toads also love what the human world has become and they come to visit Naruto both in battle and peaceful times.

The shinobi world had become unified but at what cost? Would the lives of those who sacrificed for that cause like Sakura, Neji and Hinata be forgotten in a few generations due to complacency?

Naruto didn't know but he passed out after thinking about things, not realizing how tired he was. He fell asleep on his couch after his mind decided to shut down. Too many racing thoughts were never a good thing for anybody.

* * *

**(Unknown)**

It was a world of pitch-black darkness. The world was devoid of any shape, texture or color. Everything was floating around in infinite blackness that would swallow any force of light that would attempt to penetrate its shapeless walls.

All that existed in this world was a voice; it was a voice that was very pleasing. The voice floated throughout the world and pleased every crevice inside of the shapeless walls.

The voice hummed softly as the sound floated around the infinite darkness. It had no echo but still took pleasure in the sound traveling through the air and eventually dispersing among the endless tendrils of darkness.

The voice was floating around; make sounds that would be pleasing to everybody that possibly could hear it.

All of the sudden the world experienced an intruder. However, this intruder blended into the infinite darkness because this person had no shape, but only a color. The color was black and it was unable to be distinguished from the other space.

The voice had the presence to notice that an intruder had decided to make it known in this world.

"Why are you here?" asked the voice curiously, it had been a while since this place had a visitor.

"I don't know. I have lost the shape of my identity. I am only defined by my color, which is black. You're voice is very pleasing, can you tell me that you have a solution to my problem?"

"Hmm, let me think about it." The voice stated as it floated around the endless space.

"I need some help, I don't know what the problem is and I need to know a solution. All I know is that I would like to regain my shape." Stated the intruder.

"What was your previous shape?" asked the voice.

"I don't really know what my shape was. I never was able to look at my own reflection so I don't know. All I have are the perceptions of others around me to tell me what I am" stated the intruder, curious to the reply.

"I can tell you what I can do for you but you must keep an open mind."

"What, I'm on my last hopes, I need any sort of help."

"I'll join your side and we will find a way to make you live again. I'll help you fulfill both your brightest and darkest desires. You will have free reign over everything you could ever dream of. Your will is what I will command the people to do with my voice."

These words were pleasing to the intruder as he searched for the voice endlessly. The intruder wanted the sinful pleasures that the voice could give him. The voice was finally captured and entered the specific zone of blackness that was the shapeless person. They merged and created a shape that burned the world of darkness, and turned it to a world of light. The light showed an exit to the once infinite world and as they exited, it turned the world into darkness once again.

* * *

A/N: That's the end of Chapter 1. I apologize for not having this story up sooner, I experienced a severe writers block with this story. I had this chapter written up differently and then changed it after realizing that I didn't like it.

I went with a more traditional introduction than I had originally planned. If you think this was sort of bland, then start reading after this chapter because I promise it's about to heat up.


End file.
